I’m a fairly intelligent person. Well, obviously you all knew that already. Welcome, by the way, my further two new subscribers. What on earth is going on? I haven’t been this popular since I accidentally pushed the class bully down the stairs and everybody thought I did it on purpose as a way of making a courageous stand on behalf of her victims. Of course, I milked that little incident for all it was worth. Why? because I’m intelligent, that’s why. God these postings are just masterpieces of finely crafted narrative.

Being intelligent, I like to think I’m able to read. Sadly, life in Japan has put a few bullets through that particular theory. But hey, it’s okay, because I can still read English (and, if I’m feeling nostalgic, formal semantics), and who needs to read Japanese anyway? It’s not as if they ever write about anything other than the upcoming elections and different kinds of rice, usually on the same pamphlet might I add.

So, I am intelligent. I can read. Such are the now well-established facts. Which is why, and now we come to the crux of the entry, one thing you probably didn’t know about me is that every time, every single time that I log into 43 people, I catch, out of the corner of my eye, a suggestion that I make a list of my cow workers. And every single time, I think to myself, but that’s absurd, I don’t know any cows, and if I did they almost certainly wouldn’t be working, unless you call being slaughtered work, which it isn’t really, because how can you work when you’re dead,a nd- no, wait, maybe they mean people who work with cows. But what an odd idea for a list. What makes them think I know any of those? Who comes up with these list suggestions, and who on earth approves them? The world cow workers’ union? Paris Hilton? Jesus Christ, what am I doing on a site that advocated sitting around making lists of people who work with cows?

And then I remember that I also had this exact same thought process a matter of days (sometimes hours, I confess) earlier and that it didn’t do my sultry intellectual status any favours then either.

Every single time.

Do you think I can sue?